So today I’m standing in the kitchen making the fifth tray of choc chip cookies for my six year old’s party tomorrow, and I’m struck by the disparities of my lives. Yes – I did say lives. See, I have two of them.

In my first life, I’m me. Wife, mum, sister, daughter, friend. I bake cookies and cakes and pack party favours for my kids’ parties. I make dinner every night (okay, I organize dinner every night, as all too often we get take out), I make sure school lunches are ready, school uniforms are washed, clothes are clean, the dish washer is stacked. (I’d love to say I make sure the house is spotless, but sadly housework seems to be one of those things that is just beyond my abilities). I’m the one who drags herself out of bed at the crack of dawn to make sure the rest of the household gets up in time for school/work. I’m there dropping kids at school, collecting them afterwards, racing from swimming class to tennis lessons to soccer, overseeing homework, and then generally collapsing into bed every night, just in time to (hopefully) be a good wife.

Then there’s my other life. The life that surprised the heck out of me today when I realised it was indeed mine. It’s the life where I cannot wait to strip people naked and get them to do indescribably erotic things to one another. See, in this life I create romantic worlds of love and sex. And the sex is not limited to a loving couple, a man and woman intent on facing a future of marriage and happy ever afters. Nooo. God forbid this life should focus on the mundane or the normal. See in this life, my characters who seek their happy ever afters have begun to seek it not with one other person, but two.

I’m living a menage life. (If there is such a thing.) No, it’s not real. No, it’s not my secret fantasy, but yes, I adore getting lost in the lives of threesomes. In the dynamics they create which cannot fit the expectations or normalities of happy couples. I love the interaction between three protagonists, between three people who cannot seem to keep their hands off one another. I love how the dynamics change the extraordinary into the perfectly acceptable. Just yesterday I delved into the world of Grace, Trev and Max. Or should that be Trev, Grace and Max? or Max, Grace and Trev? Because seriously, when these three get together, anything goes.

And tonight I found myself wondering, does anyone else have two such separate lives? Is there anyone else out there who makes choc chip cookies for a six year old’s party, while estimating how many orgasms one woman could have with two men, in one scene, without the book or plot becoming unrealistic. I’m curious to know.

I’m also somewhat curious what I’m going to be thinking about as I bake the birthday cake later on.