Sometimes it’s funny being an erotic romance author. It’s even more interesting when you keep said second job secret from those you work with at the less interesting first job. And it gets very peculiar when noone at said first job seems to have a mind that works quite like that of an erotic romance author’s (which is to say they don’t work blue).

For example: conversation had at work involving someone in fairly high level position:

Someone else: Hey boss, what did you get your wife for her birthday?  

Boss (with perfectly straight face): A pearl necklace  

Sami: Utter silence. Too busy trying not to choke on birthday morning tea goodies behind concealing hand.

Someone else (no appearance of detecting possible double meaning of boss’s response): A black one or a white one?

Sami: Literally unable to breathe at this point. Pretends great interest in nearby bulletin board and exotic brand of French Onion dip.

Boss: A white one! I’ve never seen a black one.

Someone else: The white ones are the most common ones.

(No kidding)

Sami: manages to swallow French Onion dip laden rice cracker and exit room before smile becomes too obvious.

Later that week Boss (a different boss this time), started talking about how hard it was to get up in his manhole. Dear Lord. If they knew Sami was currently writing scenes involving two firefighters who were leaning toward some bisexual experimentation her workmates would quite possibly choke on their lattes.

Then, to top it all off, Boss, Sami and third party were discussing upcoming roster. Boss said to third party he could start his shift early so he could be home in time for dinner. “You can go home, get undressed and spend some time with your wife.”

Oh yep, the coffee came back out Sami’s nose. She was soundly scolded by boss for taking things the wrong way. Sami insisted there was really only one way to take ‘get undressed and spend some time with your wife’. It is very different from saying ‘get changed and spend some time with your wife’.  (You see how every word choice makes a difference?) Nonetheless the admonishment stood. Sami silently admonishes boss’s weak sense of humour.

I so don’t want these people to find out what I do for a second job.