…resort to “F*ck it.”

A lot has been going on in my world this last fortnight. There’s the normal this-time-of-year parties, school events, looming deadlines and rewrites, and family commitments. What I didn’t plan for was terrible news about my dad.

Now, here’s the thing about my dad. He’s a typical Aussie bloke. If he’s angry, he goes out to the shed and works on something broken there, rather than yelling at whatever’s made him cranky. If he’s happy, he smiles a small lop-sided smile and goes about his business. If he’s sick, he doesn’t tell anyone. And he’s been sick. Really sick. And he didn’t tell anyone. Now however, his family knows and we’ve been doing our best not to be worried, but that’s a bloody hard thing to do when confronted with the realisation your dad’s not invulnerable. It’s preoccupied my waking moments and I’ve spent lots of time thinking about things I never want to think about.

So, when I decided to tell my dad how much I love him and how worried I am, this is what he said:

“Y’know, Beautiful (his pet name for me since I was a kid), when all things go wrong it’s time to say, ‘F*ck it’ and get on with life. Cause if I spend the rest of my days sitting around wondering ‘why me?’ I’m not going to get that gum tree planted in the backyard, and I want to plant that gum tree. I’m not going to finish that painting of your mum I started ten years ago, and I really want to get that painting finished.”

I’ve thought a lot about “f*ck it” since that conversation and what it means to me and this is what I’ve come up with. F*ck it a way of telling the crap in your life you’re not going to let it get you down. You’re not going to let it defeat you.

I think we forget sometimes how precious our life is, I know I did, and it took my dad’s rather blunt, sardonic expletive to make me remember that.

So if there’s something making you stressed or worried or miserable and you can’t do anything about it, stand up straight, take a breath and repeat after me…

F*ck it.

And then find the ones you love the most and hug them.

 

Love you, Dad. So much my heart aches.

XXX

Lexxie

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