So, I’m thinking of writing a superhero tale; a novella-length romp with lots of laugh, lots of sex and lots of action (I even have a name for my hero and an alias, but for now I’m going to keep that underwraps). But what really got me thinking of the above question was not my devious state of mind, but the movie Thor.
I just came from seeing Thor at the flicks with my husband. It was lots and lots of fun. Chris Hemsworth is deeeelicious and the action scenes really fired. I must admit, I was never a huge Avengers follower in my comic-reading days (I was a HUGE X-Men fan however, and had a fairly sizeable crush on Spiderman when younger) but after watching Thor, I’m beginning to wonder what I’ve missed. Was Thor really as sexy and charming and cheeky as the movie portrayed? Was Thor really as…well, doable?
Which leads me to this blog post. What superheroes push your buttons? Is it the strong, noble superhero or the sarcastic anti-hero superhero?
Let’s take a look at some options, shall we…
The Strong Noble Hero
Superman. You can’t get much more strong and noble. His moral compass would make the Mother Teressa envious. But is he sexy? Is he doable? What does he bring to the table that would make him an option? Is all that goodness a turn-on?
Captain America. Is there any more heroic and patriotic? (There’s yet to be an Australian superhero–unless you count Crocodile Dundee–which I don’t) so I’m holding up Cap’n America as the example of patriot pride and moral fibre. He fights the good fight for his country, but does he do “it” for you? Is all that high moral goodness a turn-on?
Cyclops. So, he’s got a killer gaze? But check out that blue and yellow spandex! Seriously, Scott Summer (aka Cyclops from the X-Men world) is noble of heart and tormented of soul. Caught in a perpetual love-triangle, Cyclops still does his all to be the better man at all times. Sexy? Doble? Or just too damn angsty?
The Nimble Sarcastic Hero
Spiderman. Ignoring the fact Peter Parker’s really only a teenager, Spiderman’s pretty damn sexy. He’s quick-witted, sarcastic and can fling himself around like a contortionist as a limbo party. But does all that red and blue put a dampner on the situation? And is there just a touch too much acne under the mask?
The Green Lantern. Sharp-witted, more than a touch cheeky and often-times rebellious, The Green Lantern is quite a few steps away from the likes of Supes and Cap’n America. He’s not altogether noble, but his actions are always governed by the want and need to do the right thing. Originally a fly-boy, is he the superhero to make you go “oohhh” (especially with Ryan Reynolds playing the part in a soon-to-be released film?)
Hannibal King. Speaking of Ryan Reynolds, you can’t list sarcastic, nimble superheroes without mention of Hannibal King. King is the smart-mouthed vamp killer from the Blade series and was perfectly depicted by Reynolds in the third Blade film. I have to say the original King never really did it for me (and as you know by now, sarcasm and arrogance kinda pushes my buttons–traits Hannibal King has in spades) but Ryan Reynolds’ King…oh, yeah, baby…
The Anti-hero Superhero
Wolverine. The classic anti-hero. He doesn’t give a toss about anything expect looking out for himself (at least, that’s what he wants the world to believe), is ultra-violent, ultra-sarcastic and so far removed from Superman and all that is good and golden and clean in superheroes it’s almost impossible to align the concept. But when the chips are down Wolverine will stop at nothing to wipe out the wrong tainting the world. Even if that means a bloody, brutal, savage body-count. (And yeah, I know I posted a piccie of Hugh Jackman’s Wolverine, but look at it…how could I not!? But just to keep with my own original-source rules, here’s Wolvie in drawn form too…
Ohhh, now THAT’S a sexy image…
Spawn. Aka Al Simmons. An assassin killed and sent to Hell who promises to work as a Hellspawn for one last chance to see his wife? How can that not be sexy? But would you want to y’know…with him? He’s dark and tormented and far from a ray of noble light. His name alone – Spawn – conjures up images of dark things born of darker things in dark places…but when needed he’s awesomely powerful. And his tongue is like a razor when it comes to cutting quips. Hmmm…potential, I’d say.
Batman. I wouldn’t hear the end of it from my webmistress if I didn’t include the Caped Crusader on this list, and honestly, he couldn’t fit anywhere else but in this category. He’s not one to bask in the glory of his crime-fighting, in fact, he started fighting crime for purely personal, self-centred reasons. He is tormented by his own demons to the point of being anti-social and his alter-ego Bruce Wayne is an arrogant bastard most of the time. But there is something very very seductive about that much dark mystery, about that much wounded soul, don’t you think?
There are endless superheroes out there I could draw on for this post, but the above give you all an idea to start from. In a fantasy world, where you are the heroine in the world where superheroes are needed, who do you fall for? The noble, pure hero, or the tainted, tormented anti-hero? (By the way, the one thing I noticed as researching this topic was the evolution of the superhero as decades have past. It seems it’s not just me that has a thing for the haunted, arrogant hero with a tenuous grip on his violent nature and a sardonic nature sharp enough to draw blood. The comic-reading world seems to have demanded heroes of this very nature: Priest, Preacher, the Comedian from the Watchmen, most of the X-Men…wow, there’s some seriously f*cked-up heroes out there!)
The thing that I’ve concluded from this blog post? At the moment, despite my normal gravitation towards the messed-up, conceited, tormented superheroes, I’d easily and happily pick this superhero…
…with all the cheeky charm, slap-stick goofiness and sexy strength the God of Thunder possesses. Well, at least in the latest movie anyway.
So, which superhero would you do?