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A Lesson in Oz-isms

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This is a joke. Sort of.

Whilst over in the US recently, Lexxie C and I were discussing our use of Australianisms and how important it is to us to keep them in our books whenever we can. For us it’s what makes our characters authentically Australian and gives them a unique voice. Whilst many publishers ask their authors to ‘de-oz’ their books (phrase coined by me just now), we’ve both been pretty lucky because we’ve been able to keep most of ours in. Thought I’d share a few of the more recent ones my lovely editor/s has let through to the keeper (a cricketing term meaning let pass).

  • Crack on (said when referring to a person of the opposite sex you’d like to charm out of their pants, i.e. ‘I’m going to crack on to that hot guy who looks like Ryan Gosling if it’s the last thing I ever do!’)
  • Having a lend (Pulling someone’s leg… oh that’s Australian too. Trying to pull the wool over someone’s eyes? Using a serious face while telling a tall tale, trying to take someone for a fool, that sort of thing)
  • Piss weak prick (US example might be chicken shit. You are a cowardly bastard who can’t get it up)
  • Punching on (Having a fist fight)
  • Jocks (Mens underwear, specifically brief style. A final line editor recently wondered at the use of the plural. How to explain men don’t wear a jock here? Did she think I was referring to a jock strap? I have no idea. I don’t know where jocks comes from but Australian guys wear either boxers, occasionally boxer briefs, or jocks. Or possibly nothing, but I don’t want to go there)
  • Tracky dacks (Actually I didn’t use this but I was tempted. These are sweatpants. The proper name is tracksuit pants, we affectionally call them tracky dacks {dacks=pants}
  • Fined up (It has ‘fined up’ when it stops raining, i.e., it is now fine {sunny} as opposed to pissing down {raining really hard}.
  • Jumper (This is what we call a sweater. I don’t know why. Because they were initially made of wool and sheep sometimes jump fences, ergo, you’re wearing a jumper? I have a hero and heroine discussing this important issue in a WIP that I’m hoping will find an editor who will let my jumper discussion go through to the keeper, unless she thinks it sucks big hairy dingo balls)

Something to chew on this weekend (something to think about) which is better than a poke in the eye with a burnt stick (self explanatory, yes?)

Sami

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Cartoons for the twisted mind

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For those of you, who like me, enjoy your humor with a little twist…enjoy.

😀

Jess

A Pictorial Journey Through My Romantic Times Reader Convention Fun

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Ready?

 

 

 

 

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Suffice to say, I had an absolute blast. Thank you to everyone who had fun with me. And a very big thank you to Sami Lee, my roomie, for putting up with me for ten days. Sami, you are awesome.

Lexx

5 Things RT12 Taught Me

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  1. Zombie makeup takes a week to scrape from under your fingernails, but with perserverence and a good soaking agentit can be removed from white cotton.
  2. Connecting flights suck. Big hairy dingo balls. Next time I travel anywhere in the US I’m spending a night in LA before flying anywhere else.
  3. I’m still an introvert at heart. While I love getting together with other writers and doing the wild wacky stuff (did I mention zombie makeup?), and I adore connecting with readers, by the end of the the intense, week-long festival of human contact I long to curl up inside my shell and hide for a while.
  4. Going to conventions like RT is gold for a romance author. It gives us great ideas about promotional stuff, what works, what doesn’t. It’s a fantastic opportunity to meet editors and publishers face-to-face, the kind of opportunity we rarely get in Australia. And it’s all tax deductable (hubby’s 2 favorite words)
  5. Being Mummy is the role of the many I play that I cherish the most. Again, while I love going out and being ‘Sami’, there’s nothing like being there to hug the Princess and the Cherub goodnight, to help them learn to read and swim and become budding grown ups, to watch as they turn into little people right before my eyes. Everything else, including US trips and book releases and reviews and online friends and real-life friends and all that, is gravy. I’m so fortunate to have real meaning in my life AND lots and lots of gravy.

Thanks to everyone I met in Chicago for showing me such a great time. Hope we can all meet again soon!

Sami and Lexxie

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Cheers,

Sami

The Last Leg of the Nick Blackthorne World Tour is Here

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This is it, groupies. The final stop on the tour. It’s a simple one. It’s a brilliant one. No lines to find. Just a single image.

It’s me and Nick himself in Chicago at the Romantic Times Booklovers Convention.

Thank you everyone for joining Nick on the lead up to the release of Love’s Rhythm on the 17th April (this Tuesday. Yay!!!). I shall be announcing the Grand Prize Winner within the next 24 hours on my blog.

Colors Of Gorgeous (Or my new cover)

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I am so excited to show you this stunning new cover. It is utterly gorgeous and suits the book beautifully.

It’s the cover to the second book in the Speed series, Colors of Love (The sequel to See You In My Dreams.)

So, what do you think?

(Cover designed by Kendra Egert)

Wanna know a bit more about the book? Here’s the blurb:

COLORS OF LOVE

Their true colors are hidden…until one woman turns everything upside down.

Speed, Book 2

Seth Pace, guitarist of the rock band Speed, is a born dreamer, and nothing stands in his way of making those dreams a reality. Except when it comes to band manager Luke Struthers. He’s everything Seth wants in a partner, but even after five years of perfectly explosive sex, Luke refuses to commit.

After a childhood ravaged by abuse, Luke knows he’s a potential danger to anyone foolish enough to love him. Seth is safer without him, but Luke has no idea how to cut him loose painlessly. Until he spots Seth’s kind of woman—pretty, smart, friendly. The plan: seduce her into a sexy threesome, then leave the two alone to fall in love. Problem solved.

A night of excitement with the two hottest men on the planet? Yeah, baby! Yet Kaz’s inborn ability to read auras tells her something isn’t right. It’s obvious Seth and Luke are madly in love, but subtle clues in Luke’s aura signal he’s up to something. She’s not sure what, but if she doesn’t do something quick, the two men she’s quickly come to adore will wind up without the happily ever after they both deserve.

Warning: One man + one man + one woman = a whole lot of steamy two-way and three-way M/M & M/M/F sex, a hero or two to drool over, and a heroine who recognizes true love when she sees it.

Colors Of Love releases on the 24th of July. (I know! That’s MONTHS away.) But…the good news is: It’s already available for pre-order on Amazon. Just click here to order it.

🙂

Jess

Changing Perspectives

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Its been a while since I blogged here. A loooong while. And yes, I know, I should be punished for being so slack. But…in my defense, I haven’t actually been slacking off. Yes, my word output has decreased to a bare minimum (maybe even none) but that’s because I’ve been busy with other things. Well, just one other thing.

Me.

See, a while back I was chatting to a friend about how much weight I’d put on and how much I hated looking like this, and how determined I was to do something about it. I’d spent the summer dodging the beach and anything to do with wearing a swimsuit, because I was ashamed of how I looked without clothes. My kids suffered for it, because I continually refused to take them to the sea. My friend said the exact same thing. She’d had enough of eating like a hog and doing no exercise. It was time for a change.

I’ll tell you now, it was all just talk for me. I wasn’t really interested in doing anything about it. I’d reached a point of thinking I was okay just the way I was. Who cared if I was heavier than I had been when I was nine months pregnant? It’s not a crime to be overweight. People should learn to love themselves just the way they are. Right? Didn’t matter that my weight was affecting my health. That every joint in my body ached and I was perpetually exhausted. Didn’t matter that I didn’t even have the energy to walk my dog or kick a ball, or that I wheezed like an asthmatic every time I walked up a hill. I had to love myself just the way I was.

But then a month down the line two things happened simultaneously. I was chatting to that same friend, and she looked…amazing! Seriously. She’d shed several kilos, her skin was glowing, her hair shone and she had a radiance to her I’d never seen before. See, unlike me and my big talk/no action, she’d gone and done something about her weight. She’d joined a tiny gym and started an all new eating program. The fat was falling off her, she felt like a million dollars and she had energy to burn. That same night, someone emailed photos she’d taken of me. And as I sat staring at the pics, shocked out of my mind, I began to feel nauseous. I saw an image of someone I did not recognize at all, someone I was ashamed to be. I knew I’d picked up weight. I never knew how much, or how terrible I looked. To put it blankly, I had disgraced myself and my body.

That night I signed up for my friend’s gym program. I simply stopped thinking about it and debating, and I acted! Two days later I began my diet and my new training classes.

And guess what?

It was hell. Every second of every minute of every hour I trained was nothing less that grueling torture. I ached in places I never knew I had, I was stiff twenty-four seven, and worst of all? I didn’t have the food I craved to comfort me. I’d cut out all sugar, all salt, all preservatives, all red meat and anything that wasn’t fresh. So there I was, in absolute pain, longing for a chokkie or a piece of cake to make me feel better, and I had NONE! Instead I was forced to wrap my head around the idea of buying vegetables. Tons and tons of vegetables. And cooking them. Slicing, peeling, preparing and cooking them. I don’t even like veggies. Gimme a carrot or tomato, and I’m okay. Marrrows, peppers (capsicum), mushrooms, peas, beans, asparagus…YUCK! But that was it. That was my option. Healthy eating. It took weeks to get my head into that space. Weeks. I had to come to terms with the fact that if I cheated on my diet, it was with an extra 50g of cauliflower or broccoli. Hello? You call that cheating?

Fortunately the diet isn’t all bad. There is ample carbohydrate, ample protein and ample milk, so once my body adapted to the lack of junk food, it stopped being hungry all the time. The food I fed it nourished it. And wonder of wonder, I found myself feeling better. The cravings stopped. I didn’t miss sugar, salt or fried food. I realized I could do this. It didn’t get easier, but I could cope. As for the training, well that didn’t get easier either. In fact, as soon as my body adapted to an exercise, and I finally found my comfort zone doing it, my trainer increased the level of difficulty.

It’s two months down the line now, and I confess, I am a different person. I’ve finally wrapped my head around this new lifestyle. This new way of eating, this new way of treating my body – and exercising it 3 – 4 times a week. No, the weight isn’t falling off. It’s coming down very slowly. But I am back in my normal clothes, and I’ve packed my fat clothes away. I still long for the day I feel comfortable in a bikini though. My hair is shiny again, and my skin is clear and glowing with good health. My joints are no longer sore or achy – but my muscles are always stiff. I now have the energy to walk the dog or kick a ball with my kids – but damn, I need a nap after training sessions.

It took a long time and a bucketload of hard work to reach this point. It took a complete change of perspective to get here. It wasn’t easy, and I doubt it ever will be. But I can say, in all honesty, I am so glad I made the change. It’s nice to like myself again. It’s been too long since I did.

Jess