I’ve been reading a few thrillers lately. They are a great escape from Romancelandia when I need to simply chill out and read without accidently working like I do when I read romance novels, and have ever since I became an author. But I have gotten a bit of a chuckle about the difference between the way sexual relations between men and women are portrayed by thriller-writing men and what I’m used to with reading and writing romance.

  1. In thrillers women ask strange men who look like scary-looking vagrants to come home with them for a home cooked meal and some conveniently unemotional sex. This arrangement can continue unabated, even while this man–who the woman barely knows–proceeds to brutally kill close to a dozen people without the appearance of a conscience. Why bother changing the locks, right?
  2. In thrillers women never bug the hero to talk about his feelings—not even about the five guys he just garroted. A thriller-woman will simply offer him a shower, a hot meal and another tension releasing bonk.
  3. In thrillers, the women initiate all sexual contact by undressing and basically throwing themselves in front of the hero’s dick. No need to buy her dinner fellas. This is man fantasy town.
  4. In thrillers, four paragraphs is long enough for the hero to satisfy a woman’s every sexual need (as a comparison, the average length of one of my sex scenes is around 4000 words). Yep, after four paragraphs she’ll be squirming with delight and copious praise for his performance, even though she’s the one who got undressed and threw herself in front of his dick. I mean, who did all the work there?
  5. In thrillers, women make no demands beyond the sex. They don’t ask for a relationship or exclusivity or even a blood test. They have sex for the sake of it and get out of the guy’s way so he can go shoot some more dudes. Basically, thriller-women are men with extraordinarily welcoming vaginas.

 I love you thrillers. You make me smile and give my brain such a much needed rest!

oxox

 my bookshelf: now with 30% more thrillers

my bookshelf: now with 30% more thrillers

 

 

Sami

Advertisements