Some of you expressed your wish to have been a fly on the wall during our inaugural conference last weekend. Well, you asked for it, so here goes

WARNING: The views expressed in this post are NSFW and not necessarily the views of all Divas at all times, although they were each expressed by at least one Diva at least one time during the course of DUDCon13, and all of the Divas laughed uproariously. Also quotes are random and may seem inexplicable. Further explanation of such quotes could lead to more NSFW content and other disasters. Read at your own peril

  • Young Australian men apparently call a blow job a blozza (you heard it here first)
  • Vagina biscuits are very creamy (you’re surprised?)
  • If one drink turns a hoohah into pussy, how many drinks do you need to have to turn pussy into c***? (one and a half, as it turns out)
  • It is perfectly okay to eat frozen yoghurt for dinner. Especially if it’s creamy.
  • Never top up your drink. Topping from the bottom is okay.
  • It is perfectly okay to consume the bulk of a 1.7ltr bottle of Costco premix margarita between four people. Even if one of them pikes and only has one (*narrows eyes* you know who you are)
  • If a guy’s business turns over $1million per year, you have Jess Dee’s permission to fuck him. Seriously.
  • Rhian Cahill is awesome to sleep with (Spoken by Lexxie Couper. We’re still waiting on confirmation from Mr. C)
  • Jess Dee offered to shower at the same time as Sami Lee. Sami’s husband was thrilled until he found out Jess has more than one shower in her house
  • It is perfectly okay to eat nachos for morning tea. In fact it is sometimes mandatory.
  • Overheard quote of the week: Jess: “I read a book with a fuck machine in it”. Lexx: “You read a book with someone fucking a sheep?” (It’s wool love people. The new dino porn)

Wish you were all there!

Actually, maybe not.